wrestling

i don’t want to be upset with you. with either of you.

I don’t even know if upset is the feeling.

it’s in there. anger is too.

disheartened.

but we did have a deal. an understanding.

so part of me does feel that was a shitty move.

this is supposed to be rapid fire, so why am I choosing what makes it here & what doesn't.

no, I don't feel like using question marks. that’s not the tone I’m speaking with. I’m speaking with periods.

trust.

I don’t even know if an image can encapsulate what this is supposed to be.

what is this supposed to be.

guess what today is:

not sure if it’s mystery or if it’s hiding. not sure which of those is the driving force.

hate the public. bad things always seem to happen in public. other people always seem to see me in public.

stop being so dramatic, tho. that sounded dramatic.

always so dramatic.

so soft.

so sensitive, lol.

when did I become so sensitive.

strong case could be made for ____.

that’s five. definitely five strikes. definitely five.

stop suggesting that I change the period to a question mark.

I had a line here & i’m choosing to delete it.

but I don’t feel like writing anymore.

because I can’t put this feeling into words.

it’s not defeat. it’s not embarrassment. it’s not shame.

I thought we agreed on disheartened.

but it’s just common.

this feeling is starting to become common.

I would know.

I’m sensitive.

I let myself get well-defended by a nerdy kid wearing running sneakers on Saturday afternoon.

and I was present for that.

& I can’t wait to see that kid again.

yours truly.

needing a w.

as usual.

if you’re not gonna know me for the good moments, you’re not going to know me at all.

no more losses in public.

I don’t really care what needs to change.

no more losses in public.

so we’re going to change it.

no more losses in public.

trust.

youuuuuu can bank’on’it, you can put a huuuundred graaand on’it, anything I saiiiiiid I –

can’t wait to want to delete this tomorrow.

but own your shit.

you’re sub-five-hundred.

so you dig yourself out.

you guys probably don’t even listen to the audio anyway - so why link It.

ineededthismorethanyoudid